Every time the holidays come around in the U.S. I groan, just a little. I enjoy the spirit of the season or the day such as Valentine’s Day,  the celebration of various faiths and cultures, and of course the baked goods that seem to flow endlessly from ovens everywhere. The groan comes from one source in particular: the giving of gifts.

Why do we fear gifts so much and why do they cause such anxiety? Several theories exist, but I believe gifts cause anxiety because of the cultural meaning behind the exchange.

“What if I give the wrong thing?” we ask ourselves. “What if I offend someone? What if they don’t like the gift but must pretend that they do? What if I find it in my mother’s attic two years from now?”

Now throw international business into the mix and watch your blood pressure rise even higher.

In March of last year, Secretary of State Hillary R. Clinton greeted Russian foreign minister Sergei Lavrov with a gift, a red button imprinted with the Russian word “peregruzka.”

Mrs. Clinton and her team thought this word translated to “reset” in English, indicating a desire to hit the reset button on the relationship between the two countries. In fact, the word “peregruzka” means “overcharged.”

Though the parties laughed at the incident, the red button came up again several times in the meeting. Mrs. Clinton managed to deftly maneuver around the issue and work toward a positive relationship with Mr. Lavrov, but the gift reminded both sides of the tensions that had brewed for so long.

Of course the stakes are not typically so high for most of us, but it pays to examine the role of gift giving and the social meaning behind that role if you are going to do business abroad.

In the United States, we are taught that when it comes to gifts, the thought counts more than the item itself. If we are given a gift, we open it in front of the giver and no matter what’s underneath that wrapping paper we try to act pleased. The honor, in this case, is on the receiver.

By contrast, if you attend an Indian baby shower, typically you will notice all the gifts pile up in one corner unopened. In India (though this can vary by region) the honor of gift giving is on the giver. If you open a gift and show any kind of disappointment, the giver loses face.

If we take the time to research gift giving, we can be better prepared for business through understanding what motivates people. In some cultures gifts are given purely as a part of a ritual or ceremony, whereas in others, gifts are given only when inspiration strikes.

When my wedding came around two years ago, I decided to forgo wedding favors for each guest, giving instead a special message of thanks inside the program. I doubt this decision had much of a negative effect on my guests at all. If we look at India again, however, we find that high-value wedding gifts are usually given even to the most distant relatives.

What fascinates me most about these comparisons is not the gifts themselves, but what we can learn from the exchange. We might see the wedding gifts in India as an indication of how far the idea of “family” extends in the varied cultures of the sub-continent, and how this might help prepare us for the kind of relationships we will need to build for successful business there.

Vicki Flier Hudson is president of Highroad Global Services Inc., a cross-cultural consulting firm in Atlanta. Email her at vicki@highroaders.com.

2010 The Agio Press, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without expressed permission.